The story of my depression

It’s not easy to move on but it’s the only way to keep moving, isn’t it ?

It was hard for me in the beginning to accept the fact that my boyfriend slept with some other girl he met after me, everything was happening in front of my eye. I always hated that girl but somewhere i trusted him enough so it was never a problem. He used to tell me each and every thing happening in his life, including what they talked about. I was not insecure because i knew he loved me and would never do anything to hurt me. But one day he told me what happened, it was a shock for me, he was explaining but my hear wasn’t ready to listen. I hated myself for trusting him, trusting her.

The depression first started to affect my sleep, I was unable to sleep for weeks the thought was 24×7 in my head. Every time i tried to do something the thought of what happened, why it’s affecting me pops up. I cried myself to bed everyday, i was loosing control on my mind, i started getting panic attacks, there were time when i was unable to breathe. My heart wanted to stay like this but my mind wasn’t ready for this. I realised i have to pick myself up and fave this World. I started reading Sadhguru’s book ‘ flowers on the path ‘ , i started watching his videos at night, from crying myself to bed i started Sleeping while watching any video. I never shared this with anyone, i was scared to be judged, scared to get fake sympathy and ofcourse the pity. It was one to one battle of me with my negative thoughts. I’m still fighting, time is healing me. I’m healing me.

The twist i am still dating that guy. You must be wondering why? There are many reasons, and you must have heard “when you love someone you find reasons to stay with them even of you have many reasons to leave” in my case, even if the reason is the biggest reason to leave. I stayed because i wanted to keep my promises. i promised him, i won’t leave him no matter what. Stupid huh? Well from your point of view yes and from my no. Things would have been thousands time i’d choose to leave him, it will be more difficult to live with the fact that he is living his life in guilt, i saw him crying while telling me about what happend and i was stopping him at that time rather than scolding him or hating him for what he did. Maybe I loved him more than he loved me. It would have been more difficult to accept the fact that he must be dating some other women now. I never wanted to be one of his ex stories. And if you think it was a stupid decision and i will regret this, then all i can say is, it’s been long time and things are smooth now.

#depression #growing #moving #story #storytelling #love #relationship

Dear You

Dear You,

Thank You for Being an Excellent Kid.

Thank You for loving each and every person in your life.

Thank You for taking yourself to the school where everyone was mean and bully

Thank You for being kind and gentle.

Thank You for being an amazing friend.

Thank You for being there for each and every person.

Thank You for trusting everyone. Breaking your trust was their choice.

Thank You for forgiving people and letting things go.

Thank You for being an amazing, supporting and caring partner.

Thank You for giving your 100% in all of your relationships.

Thank You for helping yourself to move on from bad relationships and memory.

Thank You for being a safe place in this cruel world.

Thank You for being selfless and strong.

Thank You for keeping your heart a happy place.

I know this world is a tough place for you, and you’re tired of being the only one to fix everything. I know you’re tired of giving your 100% and receiving nothing in return.

I want you to know that I’m proud of you for being an extraordinary person. You’re messenger of god and you’re making this world a happy place by being the kindest and purest soul. Maybe the purpose of your life is to enlighten, help, motivate and support people.

 Be proud of yourself because you’re directly or indirectly brightening many lives.

You’re giving your 100% to the world and the God will give you 100% back.   

Love love

Dear You,
	Thank You for Being an Excellent Kid.
	Thank You for loving each and every person in your life.
	Thank You for taking yourself to the school where everyone was mean and bully 
	Thank You for not being mean and bully.
	Thank You for being an amazing friend.
 	Thank You for being there for each and evry person.
	Thank You for trusting everyone. Breaking your trust was their choice.
	Thank You for forgiving people and letting things go.
	Thank You for being an amazing, supporting and caring partner.
	Thank You for giving your 100% in all of your relationships.
Thank You for helping yourself to move on from bad relationships and memory.
Thank You for being a safe place in this cruel world.
Thank You for being selfless and strong.
Thank You for keeping your heart a happy place. 
I know this world is a tough place for you, and you’re tired of being the only one to fix everything. I know you’re tired of giving your 100% and receiving nothing in return.
I want you to know that I’m proud of you for being an extraordinary person. You’re messenger of god and you’re making this world a happy place by being the kindest and purest soul. Maybe the purpose of your life is to enlighten, help, motivate and support people. 
 Be proud of yourself because you’re directly or indirectly brightening many lives.
You’re giving your 100% to the world and the God will give you 100% back.   
	Love love

#selfhelp #goodpeople #kindpeople #motivation #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth

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